questions, comments, thoughts, concerns?

Dear Weather,
I hate you. Please make up your mind as to which season it is, and stick with it. I do not appreciate freezing cold rain and wind in the spring. I don't know if you know this, but people tend to plan their outfits according to the season. For instance, a person might dress in a thin rain coat because it is, afterall, spring and even though it says a chance of rain, it was 77 degrees over the weekend, therefore the person thinks that a coat of this particular style is appropriate. You sure showed her, Weather! She steps outside of class and is almost blown down the street in her thin little coat. And although the coat is "water proof", the person is soaking wet in 5 minutes due to the rain pelting her from all directions. Please be advised that this behavior is inppropriate and perhaps you should consider speaking with California Weather about how to proceed in an acceptable fashion.

Thank you,
The Girl with the Thin Coat




Dear Umbrella,

I hate you. You are completely useless to me in any and all instances of wind. What is the point of you if you blow inside out at the mere suggestion of a breeze? In fact, I think I am more rain-sodden after having used you than if I were to walk home without you. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it when you flip inside out and then flip back rapid fire, and splash me in the face with all the water you have accumulated. It's great, really. Maybe next time you could stay flipped inside out for a while and accumulate as much water as possible before you flip back. Then I could really get it in the face.

Keep up the good work,
The Girl Who Keeps Using You in a Vain Attempt to Stay Dry



Dear People I'm in Class With,

I hate you. I wish we could spend some more class time listening to you all complain about that one question you got wrong on the exam that we took over two weeks ago. It's really helpful to rehash the same crap over and over again in the event that our professor has an aneurysm and asks that same question on the final. Get over it. Seriously. First of all, it's one question. I'm guessing that you got more than one wrong. Second of all, even if they change everyone's score and give an extra point for said question is that really going to make a difference? Really? Oh and, maybe you should complain about the program a little more. You know, I don't think we spend enough class time listening to you all blame your entire lives on the college and how everything is changing all the time. News Flash: that's life. Everything changes all the time and there is nothing you can do about it. Grow up, learn from it, and move on.

Thank you,
Your Classmate Who Has Pulled Several Muscles Rolling Her Eyes At You